• lynn luong

Corona Breakup: Did your job dump you?

Updated: 2 days ago

Normally, talking about being furloughed, fired, or laid off wouldn't be a dinner table conversation. But, in this corona chaos, it's the one thing that's bringing people together. Let's talk about what you should do if your job broke up with you (or put you on a break) before you were ready.




original by Anne Taintor (edited)


What are the stages of a breakup?

Crap. Did that really just happen?


Denial.


Sadness. Anger. Confusion?


Definitely loneliness.


Hoping they come back. Begging them to take you back?*


Acceptance.


Realizing you’re the s#*! and deserve better.


Start working out.


Drinking more water.


Bettering yourself.


Start getting back out there.


Boom - comin’ out a hottie! Making them regret what they let you go.


*hopefully not this step



Right before fully accepting a breakup. . .


. . .you go through this weird, crazy rollercoaster of emotions where you start to rethink the entire relationship. Things were so good! What happened? Where did things go wrong? You start making excuses and being okay with problems that were definitely not okay. You make excuses because of everything you went through together and how great it felt when things were good. Remember the beginning? Seeing them for the first time [online], the [interview] chase, the waiting and guessing when you’d hear from them… and then *finally* hearing that they want you, too. Bliss. For a few months at least. Then, you remember all the games they [HR] made you play, putting you through pointless tests, and alllll the communication issues.


Ugh. So. Many. Communication. Issues.


.

.

.


Weird how you can compare your relationship with your job to a real relationship, right? I mean - dang, it almost hit too close to home 😬



Here’s the thing: You should look at your work as if it were a real relationship.

Hear us out. There are real people involved, and there was real work put into it. If you were just broken up with (laid off or let go) or “taking a break” (furloughed), take this opportunity to think about your relationship with your job. We call this The Rest Stop,” 'cause you gotta gas yourself up before continuing on your journey. The Rest Stop is a place of self-reflection. You don’t necessarily want to stop here, but you don’t really have a choice or your engine—in this case, your mental well-being—will quit on you.



Can Netflix please bring Friends back? / GIPHY


So, how should you re-evaluate your relationship with your job?





📍 Welcome to The Rest Stop.

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any lost items while the "gassing up" is in motion.


Grab something to write on. Don't just think these things in your head. It won't work the same. Trust.



First, ask yourself the following:


  • What was your time with this job actually like? Be honest.

  • How was your day-to-day? Were you working hard and feeling fulfilled?

  • Sure, not every day is perfect. What sucked?

  • Were they invested in you long-term? How?

  • Were you getting the growth that you needed?




If you were furloughed…


  • When they told you they wanted to take a break, how did they tell you? How did they communicate good/bad news to you?

  • Did they have a plan in place to support you? What resources did they give you?



If you were fired or laid off…


  • When they broke up with you or told you they wanted to take a break (furloughed), how did they tell you? How did they communicate bad news to you?



Lastly - was it fair?




Now, let’s think big picture:


  • What are the checkboxes that have you for your career?

  • For your personal life?

  • Did your job check off any of those?


If your answer was "no, my job didn't check off any boxes" or "yes, it was fair they let me go," then time to face the facts. Time to move on.



Look, we get it. There are a lot of circumstances that will stick you with a job that sucks. You got bills to pay. You have to support your family. You're stuck with grunt work because you have to earn your stay. You don't want to look because the job search is a black hole. But, don't you think if there are so many jobs out there, you deserve to find one that will check off your wants and needs? Right about now, you should be thinking, “Well, damn, I’m the shit.” So, grab a map and start planning where to go from here.



Gas up, kids:




"What is the *next* right move? And then from that space - make the next right move. And the next right move. And not to be overwhelmed by it because you know your life is bigger than that one moment. You know you're not defined by what somebody says is a failure for you because failure is just there to point you in a different direction." 10/10 recommend. It's only 2 minutes!



*in the voice of Oprah*



You should’ve been treated better.


You put in the time. Great work! Grade-A stuff!


They don’t deserve you.


You’ve learned a lot about what you don’t want and what you do want.


You’ve grown from this.


You deserve more.




Gassed up enough? Let’s grab this next career move by the horns. I’m getting second-hand gas over here!


Go back to the big picture questions: What did you write down? What are your immediate checkboxes in quarantine?





A few days ago, I sat on Facetime with a friend talking to him about his experience with being furloughed. He had just come onto this team 6 months ago. He had a groove going with his manager and coworkers. He killed every presentation. He felt like he had earned his stay and started to really settle in. Should he start looking if the job was going really well? What if they do end up letting him go when COVID-19 is over? It was just horrible timing combined with the fact that his industry is in a complete standstill. Listen – we get it. For some, it’s confusing, unfair, angering, embarrassing. You have to remind yourself that this is a once-in-a-lifetime (*knock on wood*) thing. There’s nothing you could’ve done. It’s out of your control, and we have to take a few seconds to remember that.


I know it’s easier said than done, but now it’s just about making a game plan that breaks down those checkboxes into smaller, more tangible checkboxes. Then, just fucking do it. Think about something you can actually accomplish in quarantine. Remember to think big picture and don’t forget about your personal advancement. Hold yourself accountable. And if you can’t, remember that we’re here as your hustle buddies. Schedule your first 2.0 Planning Meeting with us. Let’s go, team. 💪🏽💪🏻💪🏾







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